whole wheat gingerbread men = yuck

Anyone who knows me well knows two basic facts about me: 1) I don’t like to waste food, and 2) I have a big sweet tooth. Another fact: I haven’t baked anything from a box in quite awhile. But going through my baking stash the other day, I came across a boxed gingerbread mix I received last Christmas. As I said, mixes aren’t my thing these days, and I would’ve donated it to the local food pantry if only I could’ve checked the sell-by date (I couldn’t find one) on the box. Given that the ingredients were flour, brown sugar, molasses and spices, I felt safe making it for our consumption though. I’ve made gingerbread from scratch many times so I feel reasonably assured I know what it’s supposed to taste like. The fact that the mix was made with whole wheat flour should’ve raised some mighty big red flags, but I felt hopeful. I mean, it had molasses, brown sugar and spices in it, right? How bad could it be?

Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

Why is it doughy? Why is it salty? Why is there no discernible sweetness at all? And what is that weird aftertaste? My sweet tooth aside — it is truly devoid of sweetness. I wasn’t even planning on baking gingerbread cookies this Christmas but now I almost feel have to if only to remind myself how good it can be.

Why is this cookie so angry? Because no amount of royal icing can make him sweet.

(Not even this much.)

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